An interesting day.

It’s amazing how many emotions you can go through in one day. Earlier today I was playing football in the middle of a gym with (120 little kids running around playing every game all on top of eachother, no seriously volley ball, basketball, tag, jump rope, soccer, CHAOS) a group of my boys and loving life. I was Qbing telling them all plays and they were SO excited. It was amazing, I was having so much fun. Haha I made them huddle up, and acted all serious and they got so in to it. It was crazy, with no rules, or anything but quite fun. I went from that to a terrible lunch period where everyone was yelling and screaming. (barely got to eat) then trying to make my kids understand science for like a full hour, helping each one individually do a stupid (easy) worksheet. To get them prepared for a Test tomorrow.  Then, I surprised them by making cupcakes and having a surprise birthday party for the kids with august birthdays. This was chaos until we went outside to play duck duck goose. I made the kids pretend they were ninjas so they would be quite for the other classes that were still in class. This made me laugh because here all my kids were running around campus jumping and being ninjas. (myself included of course) BUT then it started raining all of a sudden so we had to run back to the classroom. (didn’t even get to finish a session of duck duck goose) This led to everyone all loud and disruptive. Finally school was over and I had six or seven kids stay to work on their math assignment for the day, (it was just review over stuff we had already learned and they hadn’t gotten like half way through it) I was tutoring them and going through every problem individually but some of them wouldn’t even pay attention, and I was SO tired and trying to help them. Finally I only had three left. I was trying to explain rounding. For instance a problem was the number 59. the assignment was to round it. So I would tell my kids ok, is this number closer to 100 or closer to 0? And they would look at me like I was a crazy person. So I said. Alright, when you have a number 50 or higher, you round up so it would be 100. but if you have a number 49 or lower then you round down to 0. So is the number 59 bigger or less than 50? And they all looked at me and said “less?”  I didn’t know what to say. So I would repeat the question like five times. I did this with every problem. This is COUNTING. I kept saying, well lets count. Do you count up to 59 from 50? And they’d say “um…no?” I felt SO helpless. When kids left and I was on the verge of tears. I felt so over my head today. I don’t’ know how I’m supposed to teach kids like that anything that’s remotely close to 4^th grade. and I’m putting everything I can into it. I didn’t even know I was this patient. And yet today I was seriously about to yell at a girl, “are you THAT stupid?!?!”  So I’d really appreciate prayers. I need it. My days are kind of like roller coasters here. either absolutely amazing, or frustrating and exhausting. Last night I read a text in Isaiah 58 that said “The Lord will guide you always, He will satisfy your needs..you will be like a well-watered garden. Like a spring whose waters never fail.”  Sunday I felt like a spring that just had a flash flood and was erupting everywhere haha but today I felt like my spring was drying up pretty quickly. I had to keep reminding myself of the promise that God made to me. I have a lot of needs right now, but I know that he will meet all of them and fill me completely. I just didn’t’ feel like that today. I felt like my garden was dying and withering right in front of my eyes. Not to depress anyone J I really wish I could have music time with just me and God here. like have access to a piano and room, just for myself. It’s so healing to me. Sigh…

Anyway thank you so much for being supportive at home. I just received  my first package (thanks Gramma Haskins!) and it made my heart smile J Its nice to know I’m not so far from home when I feel lost! And most of all I can’t thank you enough for your prayers, I need them now more than ever!

Lots of love, Courtney