A Moment To Question.

I started off today rushing to class, stressed thinking of all I have to do, and strategically planning how I will get as much accomplished as possible before Sabbath hits quite early tomorrow afternoon. I found myself rather agitated throughout the morning, and realized that I was definitely not the only one rushing.  Everyone seemed to be running somewhere, and alas this is our culture. This is American culture, we’re supposed to be achievers, strivers, accomplishers….but of what?

If we could choose the type of life we wanted to live is this what we would choose? Would we cram our schedules full, would we pour our time and energy into papers and assignments and extra curricular activities?

Is this really how we want to live? Is this how Jesus calls us to live?

What if we woke up in the morning and just took time to sit, think, read, and drink a cup of tea? What if we walked to class or to work, stopping to chat to friends and acquaintances along the way? What if we cooked dinner with family and friends every night taking the time to be thankful for our blessings, our food, and taking time to develop relationships? What if we made people the priority?

Because Jesus made people a priority.

 I seriously struggle with these questions some days. And well, today is one of them.  Midterms are next week meaning that I have 3 tests and 2 papers.  I know I’ll make it through, get all the studying in, have my papers turned in on time, but will I have spent time on the things that I care about most? Will I sit down with Alexandra Paulsen and seek to understand her heart on a deeper and more beautiful level? Will I snuggle up in a music room late into the evening pouring my heart out onto the black and white keys of a piano? Will I sip tea in the morning and watch the sun rise and leisurely have a wonderful chat with Jesus? Will I attempt to put my dreams and thoughts into words and lyrics and then sing to someone's hurting heart? Will I let my creative side get the best of me and cook an experimental dinner and deliver cookies to friends? Will I do yoga out on my balcony as the sun is gradually setting? Will I write letters to my kids in Pohnpei and remind them how much I love them?

Nope.

So I can’t help but think…there has to be so much more than this. 

Four Words.

Four words for my today...

Alone

Disappointed

Small

Forgotten

Dear Jesus, if I could please choose four words for my tomorrow...

 

Full

Sunshine

Hope

Anticipation

Thanks. You're the best. Hugs. 

A Love Affair

I am saying goodbye to a four year long love affair.  At first it was a love triangle, I was trapped between loyalty and love, and then it definitely turned into a full blown affair.  My heart used to belong to Southern California where I was born and raised.  The thing is, California treated me very well.  I loved the beach sunsets, the sand, the warm weather, and couldn't really see myself living anywhere else...but then...then I met Washington.  I was introduced to fall leaves, the joy of waking up to the first snow of winter, frosted trees, thick forests, chilled rivers, anticipation of spring and the colors that accompany it, a state that seemed to meet my adventurous heart with eager anticipation, challenging me to explore, to be free. 

So dear Southern California, consider this a formal apology.  I'm sorry, but I am now a Washington girl.  I am no longer confused or torn, the triangle has been eliminated, my heart now belongs to the snowcapped mountains, coffee shops, evergreen forests, and fresh air of the NorthWest. So thank you for the good times, for a wonderful childhood, for sunny days at the beach, but....well....I guess what i'm trying to say is...how do I put this? It's not you it's me.  I don't think I see this relationship going anywhere...and to be perfectly honest, I have kind of developed a huge crush on Washington. I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us, and I want you to know that I'd really love it if we could still be friends...