Today I was baking cookies for a friend when it suddenly occurred to me that I was not baking by myself. I suddenly felt like swirling around my kitchen, and my heart was filled with a subtle and calming joy accompanied by a simple realization. I never bake alone. I never run alone, I never study alone, I never sleep alone, Jesus is always right there with me. Singing in the middle of an ocean, frolicking around my kitchen, snuggled up in my bed at night, He is the greatest built in best friend a girl could have.
As I have grown in Jesus I have grown in myself. A slightly loaded statement I suppose…I never used to be able to be by myself, I hated it. But now I enjoy the quite moments away from friends, family, and acquaintances because I have discovered that they are moments filled with the greatest of company of all. These are the moments when I am the furthest from being alone. Jesus understands me, my silliness, my desires, my dreams, my longing for adventure and love like no one ever will. When I get frustrated with recipes and decide that I have much better ideas, or when I get unbelievably excited about how beautiful the littlest flower is, or when I continue to snuggle up to my stuffed animal Larz every night even though I am 22 years old I feel Jesus there, giggling, adoring, and smiling at me, with me….and it is simply amazing.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
A law firm and a bakery.
Practicality and my father are the bestest of friends. I feel like my father is constantly introducing us to one another, but the truth of the matter is practicality and I just don't get along very well. Yes, I have been known to be responsible, dependable, and even at times mature (one would assume that practicality would fit in quite nicely with the whole group), but though I have tried I can only accept him as an acquaintance.
Recently I have been asked by almost everyone I have run into what I will be doing next year after I have graduated. Jokingly I have begun stating that my big plan is to move to San Francisco to sing on street corners. Just about a week ago my father brought up this topic and suggested that I contemplate applying for law school. Being the proud parent that he is, he pointed out my dedicated drive to accomplishing whatever I put my mind to in life. Some days I wish this was a drive to be a doctor, a lawyer, someone prestigious and successful, someone that could be the bestest of friends with practicality. But what if it was the complete opposite? ...
I want to open a bakery, I want to sing, I want to be a missionary. Literally, I want to bake cakes and make up recipes for healthy cookies, I want to record music, I want to play soccer with little kids in the rain and sleep in a hut and ride a horse everywhere. How wonderfully ridiculous is that?
But wait...That's not how this whole thing is supposed to work is it? It's supposed to be college, then marriage, graduate school, a stable job, a cozy home, and then kids right? ...
Looks like I missed the memo...my dear friend impracticality must have forgotten to pass it on.
Recently I have been asked by almost everyone I have run into what I will be doing next year after I have graduated. Jokingly I have begun stating that my big plan is to move to San Francisco to sing on street corners. Just about a week ago my father brought up this topic and suggested that I contemplate applying for law school. Being the proud parent that he is, he pointed out my dedicated drive to accomplishing whatever I put my mind to in life. Some days I wish this was a drive to be a doctor, a lawyer, someone prestigious and successful, someone that could be the bestest of friends with practicality. But what if it was the complete opposite? ...
I want to open a bakery, I want to sing, I want to be a missionary. Literally, I want to bake cakes and make up recipes for healthy cookies, I want to record music, I want to play soccer with little kids in the rain and sleep in a hut and ride a horse everywhere. How wonderfully ridiculous is that?
But wait...That's not how this whole thing is supposed to work is it? It's supposed to be college, then marriage, graduate school, a stable job, a cozy home, and then kids right? ...
Looks like I missed the memo...my dear friend impracticality must have forgotten to pass it on.
Friday, December 16, 2011
An invitation.
I originally started blogging due to my year as a missionary over seas. I felt that I no longer had a reason to write upon my return to the states so simply stopped. But though I am living in Washington my heart still sings, my life is still filled with dancing late hours of the night and experimental cooking. I may not have 24 children to delight in everyday or gorgeous island sunsets to take my breath away, but I have beautiful friends to drink tea and eat bagels with, and frosted trees outside my window that fill my heart with childlike joy. Adventure is just as much in my heart now as it was a year and a half ago, and writing still seems to bring a peaceful quietness to my soul. I find Jesus through the pages of my prayer journal and through song lyrics that sing to my heart. So on this Christmas Sabbath evening I have decided to pick up the pen again so to speak and start writing once more. Consider yourself invited to a glimpse into my heart through writings, lyrics, and dreams of the daughter of the King. I invite you to dream, cry, laugh, and sing with me here.
Blessings, Courtney Breann
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