A Trip In The Night.

It's official. Melarome and I are NOT friends (my malaria medication). I write this with heavy eye lids and fluttering anxiety inside my chest.

Last night I laid in bed for hours alternating between praying, thinking, and reading. Eventually I must have drifted off into some type of sleep (not sure if you can call it that since sleep is supposed to be a restful state) because I would toss and turn coming to from some sort of twisted dream.  This happens all night long, a dream like state filled with anxiety and sadness that leads to confusion when I suddenly realize I am awake staring into the darkness of my mosquito net wondering if I ever was asleep at all. I found myself longing to see the glow of morning light and to taste the comfort I know it will bring for the 3rd night in a row now.  In the middle of one of these seemingly endless cycles, Tangawezi (our dog) began barking. I became convinced that someone was trying to break into our house. "Ksusha" I whispered to the bunk below me, "Tangawezi is barking, I think someone is outside". Surprisingly she coherently responded assuring me that this was normal, that he was probably just barking at the moon, and that even if there was someone outside, that all the doors were locked and we were safe. While her argument made complete logical sense, I was adamantly convinced that she was wrong and had no idea what she was talking about.

My mind raced trying to keep up with my imagination (which was now in a full out sprint). I was absolutely convinced that as I lay frozen in my little top bunk, that someone had walked through our front door (obviously Ksusha must have thought she locked it but forgotten), and was currently stealing everything I owned. My computer was what filled me with the most anxiety (how was I going to keep in touch with everyone back home?). I was certain the thief already had it in his grasp as he searched through all my belongings in the other room. I could almost hear him rummaging through my medicine box (thanks to my "be prepared for anything" Harold of a father). "Great" I thought, "He's probably stealing my malaria medicine to sell because it's so flippin expensive!" (maybe that would be for the best come to think of it...) "I'm sure he's found my wallet by now and is taking all my money and my debit card..Great. Wait, where is my wallet anyway? Oh yes, in my back packing backpack...OH NO!!!" Now pure panic truly strikes, "That's where my chocolate is!!!" The thought of this midnight criminal eating my precious chocolate bars sends me into desperate hopelessness and a feeling of unavoidable defeat.

Somewhere in the midst of this ridiculous thought process my mind must have switched to it's dream like "sleep" state, because I am now alternating between trying to convince my brother not to murder someone, illegally making espresso (why making espresso is suddenly illegal and making normal crappy coffee is legal is beyond me, but then again why in the world is Zac trying to shoot someone?), and avoiding rapid gunfire by diving behind giant army made tortuous (teenage mutant ninja turtles on steroids perhaps? ...didn't see any nun chucks though...bummer. Come on Melarome!).

Although i write this now in a much more coherent state of mind (making espresso is obviously not illegal), I was just about 98% certain I was HIV positive this morning. In the fog of this realization (accompanied by a rapid heart beat I couldn't seem to calm down), I was clearly left with no other option but to open a 60% Ghirardelli dark chocolate bar (which surprisingly was untouched by last night's perpetrator...huh) and eat it while staring blankly off into the distance thinking of how I would now never be able to have children of my own, and that I could now never get married...

For those of you confused reading this, let me answer a few questions in case any clarification is needed:

-Did someone break into my house last night? No. 
 -Am I HIV positive? No.
-Is our government currently creating real life teenage mutant ninja turtles? Possibly.
-Am I seriously considering stopping my Malaria medication ASAP before I have a mental breakdown or do something completely ridiculous in the middle of the night? Yes.