Cookies and Jesus.

Today I was baking cookies for a friend when it suddenly occurred to me that I was not baking by myself. I suddenly felt like swirling around my kitchen, and my heart was filled with a subtle and calming joy accompanied by a simple realization. I never bake alone. I never run alone, I never study alone, I never sleep alone, Jesus is always right there with me. Singing in the middle of an ocean, frolicking around my kitchen, snuggled up in my bed at night, He is the greatest built in best friend a girl could have.

As I have grown in Jesus I have grown in myself. A slightly loaded statement I suppose…I never used to be able to be by myself, I hated it. But now I enjoy the quite moments away from friends, family, and acquaintances because I have discovered that they are moments filled with the greatest of company of all. These are the moments when I am the furthest from being alone. Jesus understands me, my silliness, my desires, my dreams, my longing for adventure and love like no one ever will. When I get frustrated with recipes and decide that I have much better ideas, or when I get unbelievably excited about how beautiful the littlest flower is, or when I continue to snuggle up to my stuffed animal Larz every night even though I am 22 years old I feel Jesus there, giggling, adoring, and smiling at me, with me….and it is simply amazing.

A law firm and a bakery.

Practicality and my father are the bestest of friends. I feel like my father is constantly introducing us to one another, but the truth of the matter is practicality and I just don't get along very well. Yes, I have been known to be responsible, dependable, and even at times mature (one would assume that practicality would fit in quite nicely with the whole group), but though I have tried I can only accept him as an acquaintance.

Recently I have been asked by almost everyone I have run into what I will be doing next year after I have graduated. Jokingly I have begun stating that my big plan is to move to San Francisco to sing on street corners. Just about a week ago my father brought up this topic and suggested that I contemplate applying for law school. Being the proud parent that he is, he pointed out my dedicated drive to accomplishing whatever I put my mind to in life. Some days I wish this was a drive to be a doctor, a lawyer, someone prestigious and successful, someone that could be the bestest of friends with practicality. But what if it was the complete opposite? ...

I want to open a bakery, I want to sing, I want to be a missionary. Literally, I want to bake cakes and make up recipes for healthy cookies, I want to record music, I want to play soccer with little kids in the rain and sleep in a hut and ride a horse everywhere. How wonderfully ridiculous is that?

But wait...That's not how this whole thing is supposed to work is it? It's supposed to be college, then marriage, graduate school, a stable job, a cozy home, and then kids right? ...

Looks like I missed the memo...my dear friend impracticality must have forgotten to pass it on.

An invitation.

I originally started blogging due to my year as a missionary over seas. I felt that I no longer had a reason to write upon my return to the states so simply stopped. But though I am living in Washington my heart still sings, my life is still filled with dancing late hours of the night and experimental cooking. I may not have 24 children to delight in everyday or gorgeous island sunsets to take my breath away, but I have beautiful friends to drink tea and eat bagels with, and frosted trees outside my window that fill my heart with childlike joy. Adventure is just as much in my heart now as it was a year and a half ago, and writing still seems to bring a peaceful quietness to my soul. I find Jesus through the pages of my prayer journal and through song lyrics that sing to my heart. So on this Christmas Sabbath evening I have decided to pick up the pen again so to speak and start writing once more. Consider yourself invited to a glimpse into my heart through writings, lyrics, and dreams of the daughter of the King. I invite you to dream, cry, laugh, and sing with me here. Blessings, Courtney Breann

A blog worthy weekend..

Ok so I have been struggling with being sick the last few weeks and have also developed some strange stomach bug where I am randomly nauseous all the time. (Not fun! Going to the doctor about it tomorrow, pray we can figure out what it is!) This has affected my sleep significantly, and well what I’m trying to get at is, I was really tired and very happy it was finally Sabbath. However, the SM’s decided to take a trip to Kapinga that afternoon. There went my restful Sabbath. Kapinga is pretty much a little community that is about five minutes away from the school and twenty seconds away from our church. The first time I saw Kapinga I was speechless. Their houses are mostly little huts, clothes are strung out all over to dry, kids are walking along the street with dirty little faces and usually half naked etc. lets just say it is a culture shock compared to America. Anyway, I decided to join the group regardless of my tired mind and body, and I am so glad that I did! It was more rejuvenating than any nap could have ever been, maybe not physically but definitely emotionally. I played with the most precious children for about an hour and a half straight. Haha a group of the SM’s were cleaning boils and cuts, another group was singing with kids and telling a story, and I was running around doing ninja moves with about six little boys. It was great, haha I had a little flock that was unbelievably delighted with the thought of me chasing them, so there I was of course running around, tickling away, and swinging these little guys around. Just when I thought the trip couldn’t get any better I saw a little girl, and she saw me. I’m pretty sure my heart now belongs to a three year old… I still don’t know her name but I wish I could take her home! I officially had a Kapinga koala bear :) She wrapped her arms and legs around me and would not let go. She only wore a little pink skirt, no shirt or shoes, and an adorable smile I couldn’t say no to in a million years. I don’t think she understood English because she never responded to anything I said in words just merely smiled or hugged me tighter. If my heart wasn’t bubbling with enough joy, laughter, and love already, we left. This entailed about fifty kids racing after our truck all the way down the street. A good Sabbath afternoon indeed. :) God’s children are so precious and there are so many out there just dying to be loved. I wish I could love them all…

Later that night a group of us played basketball, I don’t think knock out has ever been so tiring or sweat inducing. Haha I was DRIPPING. Then Joel and I played one on one forever. I may not have won basketball that night but I certainly won the water fight afterwards, he was soaked :)

The next morning Joel, Amy, and I took the Youth out for a ride around the Island. We decided to stop at anything and everything “Pohnpeian”. Therefore we would randomly stop to take pictures with flowers, bridges, trash, random people, etc. We went down to the beach, went swimming in a river, Joel and I had a sword fight with bamboo we found, things like that :) I ate rice, coconut, and banana for lunch, a very island day. Then that night Joel and I played our third game of tennis. I’m not going to lie, he kind of dominated lol, but I just pretended like I let him on purpose just to infuriate him as much as possible ;) Although I may have lost one of our eleven games, I still managed to come out of the evening victorious. We made a bet on a rally at the end of our game and due to my victory I will me enjoying a free coconut in the very near future..

Now it’s our last week before spring break. I can’t WAIT! Barbie and I already have a list started of activities for the week. They include a multitude of fun festivities ranging from sleep (ah ha ha) to dance parties, to wakeboarding, to scuba diving, to mud football, to exploring waterfalls, and to renting scooters for a day, to more epic sleep. SO looking forward to it!!!! I don’t want to leave this island…I can’t believe I’m going to be on a plane heading home in two months…

Tennis. America vs. Australia

So I have recently discovered Pohnpei’s tennis courts. For those of you picturing a beautiful green tennis floor that a tennis ball could actually bounce on, complete with a net and nicely drawn white boundary lines let me restate my previous statement. I have recently discovered Pohnpei’s loose dirt and gravel floor courts, complete with barely visible black tennis lines that are the wrong measurements and approximately 3/4ths of a net. Non-the-less it something one may hit a yellow tennis ball over and has recently provided much entertainment. One of the Australian SM’s Joel and I started playing this past week. For those of you who have had the privilege of witnessing my competitive side I have inherited from my father, you can imagine that I immediately was no longer playing a casual game of tennis for enjoyment, but competing to defend my country’s honor and dignity as a woman. Haha these matches have turned into approximately 90% smack talk and 10% tennis. I would also like to declare that the last two tennis outings have ended in a victory for the United States and all women who inhabit the beautiful country. Joel and I have to walk for about 10-15 minutes to reach the tennis courts. Usually these walks include chatter, laughter, and the occasional blow to the opponent’s country. I can say with a stifle of laughter that last night was a very quiet walk home. Apparently I know how to shut up Australians. :) After last night the stakes of our so called “friendly” games were raised. We have now started an official tennis tournament that will most likely last till the end of the year. The bet was made official last night. Whoever wins the best of eleven tennis matches will get to enjoy watching their opponent suffer much humilation. I’m going to win so let me just tell you what happens when Joel loses haha. Joel will have to take me out to dinner while wearing a t-shirt that reads in bold letters “American Girls Are Better” along with having to make a video wearing all red, white, and blue and holding an American flag proclaiming that America is better and then post it on his facebook for the entire world to see. Along with having to wear his “American Girls are Better” t-shirt once he is home in Australia for an entire day (with photo proof). This entire bet is switched for me, I would theoretically have to declare that Australia was better while wearing a t-shirt that says “Australian girls are better” etc. Clearly Australians aren’t very smart because Joel decided to add onto the bet even more. Saying that if he can beat me the next 5 matches in a row than I will have to wear my “Australian girls are better” t-shirt five days in a row. If I win the next three in a row (adding up to five in a row) however, then he has to wear his “American girls are better” t-shirt for the next five days straight. When will this boy learn? I’ll have to keep everyone updated on this heated tennis tournament. Poor Australia…I actually feel just a little bad… :)

Clubbing in Pohnpei!

Last night was….well, interesting. All I can say is, Filipinos now how to Party! Haha, last night was the second Filipino party I have attended since I’ve been here, and let me say, they are hilarious! I went because MJ had been practicing three dances for weeks and she was performing them last night. She was amazing of course! It was so cool! They did a rockin Michael Jackson dance! Anyway, for those of you who have not had the privilege of ever attending a Filipino party, there is ALWAYS karaoke involved! Haha and last night there ended up being some dancing as well! Lets just say that I never thought I’d find myself clubbing in Pohnpei. At the very end of the program they put on some music and Joy and I grabbed Barbie and Andrew (two of the SM guys that came last night) and started busting out the dance moves. For those of you who have not had the privilege of attending a Filipino party OR seeing me dance the night away I apologize for you are truly missing out. My dance moves include a wonderful collection of the lawn mower, the q-tip, the shopping cart, some Christian character choreography moves, and a few disco moves I learned from a workout DVD. Lol. Needless to say it was hilarious and so much fun! I was dancing with my student’s mom and one point in the evening. Enough said. Tonight is the valentine’s banquet for the high school. It is at the same place, a club called Flamingos (the only club on the island/place to hold big parties). Apparently they allow dancing at their banquets, so I have no idea how we are going to supervise over 200 high school students dancing about with raging hormones…that will be interesting. And let me tell you, these girls learn how to move their hips from about the age of 4 because of hula, so by the time they are 17…well ya. They’re good. So we’ll see how tonight goes!

Yearbook Letter

So every year the teachers each write their kids a letter to go in the school’s yearbook. I know that you guys don’t exactly know my students so you may not quite understand most of this but I figured I’d post it anyway. :)

Dear superior fourth grade class,

My Indians, My Ninjas, My Masseuses! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! How am I ever going to live with you?! I’ll never forget Marion turning our rug into a dance floor and busting out the Michael Jackson moves, massages from master masseuse Julius, Zack break dancing and hanging out with me EVERY lunch quizzing me on Pohnpeian and making me laugh, JR ALWAYS annoying me and trying to fight me (Brat! Haha you know I love you!), my secret notes from Julien and Zara that I always find on my desk (I’m keeping them forever!), my cleaning girls Evon and Grace that are so cool and hang with me every day after school (my desk would be a mess if it wasn’t for you two!), Burt trying to rob the class while wearing a ski mask haha, Les’s amazing hugs everyday before he leaves, Marlin jumping out of his seat about to explode he was so excited because he had the answer to whatever question I was asking (thanks I always knew you were listening to me ramble on and on even if no one else was!), Ayaka always racing at the end of each day to tap the erasers, Yuichi always lighting up my day and filling it with giggles and hugs and arguing with me about who loved who more, Veronica always making me feel like a super famous rockstar, Wolphgang and his talent to make ANYTHING into a sword, Edgar sitting at his desk with his hands folded like the perfect student (Ya!), Briana watching me from the back of the classroom with a look that says, “Oh my goodness my teacher is crazy!!” , Leonito telling me all about the Phillipines (I feel like I’ve been there!), Makani running around with his pants pulled up and his shirt down so that he looked like he was naked! (Miss Nugent and I laughed EVERY time.), Loriann helping me lead out with worship songs in the morning with a big smile on her face even if everyone else was half asleep, Hart’s amazing drawings on almost every assignment he ever turned in, AJ scoring the greatest touchdown ever during our football game against Miss Nugent’s class (we won of course!), Sunshine saying “Miiiisssss!!!” unbelievably loud and then giggling when she realized I was going to strangle her, Daunte playing his imaginary drum during our rain dance…I could go on forever!

You guys have made me feel more loved than I ever thought was possible. From secret notes and letters, to hugs and tickle fights, to salsa dancing and football, to all laughing uncontrollably and falling out of our chairs in the middle of math class while I told silly stories! I can’t wait to play football with you in Heaven (we’ll definitely beat Miss Nugent’s class again!) and fight next to you in the battle against evil with the God of the universe on our side! I know you guys are ready! Don’t forget to wear the armor of the Lord every day! Always keep Jesus as your best friend no matter what comes your way, and He will ROCK your life! I can’t even begin to put into words how much I love the 24 of you. I hope I didn’t cry too much when I left…WAAAHHHH!!! :) I guess all that there is left to say is…I LIKE PIZZA!!!

How!

Love, Miss Breann :)