Town.

Today I went into town for the first time. My eyes were glued outside our window as I frantically tried to take in everything around me when suddenly "SWOOSH!" my heart just about stopped as our taxi zipped in between 2 cars as our driver maneuvered our car through the middle of the road. Let me stop for a moment. That's right, the middle of the road. As soon as my heart rate returns to a normal tempo my eyes go back to the ever difficult task of trying to take in all the sights around me. The culture, the people, the trees, mountains, buildings, um is that a goat on a leash? When suddenly my thought process is abruptly interrupted once again, "Bleeeeep!" as a piki piki (motorcycle) cuts in front of us with three people on it, none of which are wearing helmets (Harold would have had a heart attack right then and there, if he hadn't already when he discovered the people don't refridgerate their milk, eggs, or butter here).

As we moved closer and closer into Arusha, my mind felt more and more overwhelmed while the smile inside me grew bigger and bigger. I wish I could somehow put into words the textures, colors, smells, people, buildings, feelings, and sights I experienced through my little car window, but the truth is I can't. It was simply too much for me to take in all at once, too much for my mind to process. All I can say is that I have never been anywhere like this before and...I love it. :) Maybe next time we go in for groceries I won't be so frozen in time and space and I will be able to come to my senses long enough to take some pictures. Until then...let your imagination wonder...we don't use it enough. :)

Chickens and Chocolate.

As of right now I am writing by candle light. The power has been out all day, but Gabriel (he is literally our guardian angel) has come over and made a kubwa moto (big fire) that lights up our kidogo numbani (little home) and is currently warming my heart. today Ksusha and I took Happy for a walk. Africa is simply beautiful. There are children everywhere and I wanted to stop to play with them all. When we got back we heard Mama Numesmo and Gabriel calling us from the chicken coop. We have so many baby chickens! Ksusha and I made Gabriel run around and catch the baby chicks for us so we could hold them, we couldn't stop giggling.

When we walked into our house we found eggs on our counter and realized we had no idea how long they had been there for. We were so scared that we would crack them and there would be a baby chicken inside, so we tried to get Onesmo (Mamma Onesmo and Gabriel's little boy) to crack the egg...but he wouldn't. So I proposed a game so that no one would "kill" the chicken, if it indeed was a chicken at all. Outside our little home Ksusha, Happy (well she just kind of stood there), Onesmo, and I played catch with one of the eggs until someone accidentally dropped it. The suspense was building when Onesmo's little hands slipped followed by a "splat!" and three screams...we all crowded around and...Behold it was a normal egg yolk and all! We all fell into a fit of giggles once again.

I snuck inside and broke off some of the chocolate I brought with me to share with Onesmo and Happy. There we sat on our front steps while the sun silently slipped behind Mt Meru with two little squares of chocolate, breaking them into little pieces with huge smiles on our faces. I know I am a chocolate snob, but I can honestly say that was some of the best chocolate I have ever eaten.

When our squares of chocolate had disappeared, Ksusha and I prepared dinner for the kids by candle light as Onesmo sang in Swahili in between bites of mandarin oranges I would sneak him. I love it here. My soul is at peace and my heart is full with joy, thanks, and anticipation. I have been learning Swahili poley poley (slowly slowly), and have a little journal that I scribble new words in whenever I hear them. We will all be talking when I will hear a new word and suddenly spring across the house for my journal and pencil which is almost always followed by everyone laughing at me. Gabriel told me with a big smile that I will learn in 1 month instead of 4-5 months like everyone else. I'm praying that he is right. As for now I am about to go boil some water for tea, strap my head lamp on, and continue to try and teach myself guitar (dedicated? I think yes.) until the fire dissipates to burning embers and sleep clouds my mind...Usikumwema (Goodnight).

Things I didn't do today...

 I didn’t feed a starving child today, bring together a community, or bring medicine to a sick family. No, I didn’t come close to doing any of those things today. But tonight as the sun was beginning to lower itself behind the thickness of the trees, I found myself giggling uncontrollably with a little two year old who was trying to do yoga with me and found it to be just about the funniest thing she had ever seen. And well for today…that’s good enough for me. : )

And The Adventure Begins.

Shikamo from Tanzania! I apologize in advance if my words are hard to follow, I am currently rather jet lagged and my mind feels like it is a million places. I’ll do my best to give you a glimpse of my current situation however. Right now I am sitting on my back porch as I write, drinking tea and watching the sun fall behind Mount Meru. The sound of Veggie tales plays behind me while Ksusha and Happy watch an episode on her laptop, birds sing all around me, chickens from our coop cluck, cows moo from our neighbors, just down the road I hear children playing, and near by African music is blaring at some sort of celebration. Out of all the noises the children playing is what excites me the most. 

Last night I arrived at the airport, rather exhausted and confused as to what day and time it was, to be picked up by Ksusha and one of the German volunteers named Sara (the two German girls will be leaving in the next couple of weeks). As soon as we got in our taxi I realized that Tanzanian driving is all together different to American driving in the sense that the lines in the road mean just about nothing ha. The power was out when we got home so Ksusha boiled water and put it in a bucket for me to shower with.  Surprisingly enough it’s rather cold right now, so the warm water felt amazing after all of my traveling.

When I woke up this morning I had to remember where I was, I could hear Happy cooing in the crib right below me (we have a full house right now with the 2 German girls and a few friends visiting them, so for now I am sleeping in Ksusha and Happy’s room) as she tossed and turned. After eating breakfast I finally was able to spend some time with Happy. She is seriously the most precious little 2 year old girl on the face of the planet, my heart melted instantly.  She is the tiniest little thing with the biggest smile in the world. Her name is rather fitting. :) After breakfast I started to feel sick so laid down for a while. I am rather certain that the culprit is the malaria medication.  My stomach has been all sorts of crazy ever since I started taking it.  The girls here think I should just stop taking it, but then just last night I got like 5 mosquito bites so I’m not entirely sure what to do…Also I think my stomach is just adjusting to the food here. I’m going to try to stick it out a week and see if my body starts to acclimate to everything before making any big changes like stopping the medication.

Ksusha, Happy, and I just got back from a walk down the road. I was really excited to finally get a glimpse of the culture.  I quickly realized how much I need to learn Swayhili, and fast.  Everyone tried to talk to us but I had no clue what they were saying. As we rounded our first corner a whole herd of little goats ran past us with a little boy, approximately 9 years old, chasing after them with a stick.  Ksusha explained that many of the children herd the animals instead of going to school because their families can not afford it. The second corner we rounded brought an African woman balancing a huge bag of rice on her head as she walked, and the third brought a small cluster of children very excited about seeing two white girls.  They were very shy but had huge smiles spread across their faces.  I tried to communicate with them, but failed rather miserably so put out my hand for a high five. They just looked at me like I was a crazy white girl and started giggling. I had to show them what I meant, and then eventually a little boy stepped forward bravely, hit my hand with his, and retreated as quickly as possible. Children are the easiest to communicate with across language barriers. I’m hoping to walk down the road and try to play soccer with some of them later this week, they don’t use a normal soccer ball though, instead they make these little balls, about 1/3 the size of a soccer ball, out of trash bags.

        I have started to ask myself what I have gotten myself into, and the answer that I keep hearing is an adventure. So here’s to adventure and some much needed sleep.

Thunder Storm.

Hair dripping wet- Rejuvenating,

Heart jumping with the Light,

Feet splattering- Pitter-pattering

Head spinning, Heart longing

Adventure stirring,

EXPLOSION!

Hysterical laughter, Emotion dancing

Love and mystery, Power and majesty

Freedom. Freedom. 

Jesus this is fully You,

And now, now this is me. 

Can I hold your hand?

This week Jesus asked to hold my hand...

"Why Jesus?" I asked, "Are you leading me somewhere? Are you helping me through a difficult time? Preparing me for things to come?"

"No." He responded, "I simply wanted to intertwine my fingers with yours...to touch you...to feel the warmth of your fingers, to hold a little part of you..." 

My heart beated, my breath stopped-caught up in a rare moment of true romance.

My hand slipped into his.

Beautiful.

Simple.

Home...

You know that feeling of peace, comfort, and familiarity washing over you when you realize that your heart is home? I felt that in Pohnpei. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be, loving the exact 24 children I was supposed to be, and breathing the fresh salty air I was supposed to be...

Yet I find my heart desperately searching for a home now. Comfort, purpose, and reassurance are a mere vapor that I can not seem to grasp.  I want to be at home with who I am, where I am, be at home with my desires, my dreams, my hopes, and the questions in my heart. I want calm and peace in my soul, even though my future is uncertain.

Jesus my faith is lacking. I thought my story would be different somehow...Will you remind me that uncertainty is beautiful? That mystery is adventure? That love is patient? Remind me that when I long for adventures in the rain, kisses on my nose, strong arms holding me safe and tight, grass between my bare toes, and romance in song, that I long for you, and that no matter where I am, or where I am going, that you are home and always will be...